Naruto's Quest to Be the Best
by Girl in My Mirror Is Crying
Summary: Naruto finally gets his chance to emerge himself into the world of Pokemon.
1. Chapter 1

The TV started to make some sexy music, kinda like what you hear at a store that sold mattresses, and all the sudden, an announcer with a thick Hungarian accent began to start the commentary for the show.

"We're here live in the beautiful motherfucking Indigo Plateau and we are having the most spectacular match that I have seen in four minutes! This match will decide which nigga will advance through the preliminaries and then fight the Elite Four and win the grand prize that is absolutely nothing except some diploma shit thing that is on recycled paper! We will now turn the cameras now to the combatants and see how poorly these niggas will train their Pokemon in order to show how good they they think they are, but in reality, are fucking terrible!"

A guy wearing a speedo and a tank top was controlling a Gengar and said, "Don't let that nigga's Nidorina get the upper hand! After all, you are a ghost and poison type and I doubt that that nigga's shitty ass Pokemon will inflict any damage on you!" His eyes suddenly grew and he released a giant fart on national television! This nigga had blood-orange hair and amber eyes.

"Holy shit! I bet you can smell that through your cheap ass tv, niggas!" said the announcer as he continued to watch the battle. He started gagging on the smell of that nigga's fart and pressed on.

"Hah! I'm not going to be intimidated by some loser who is wearing a spandex diaper!" said his opponent. This fool was wearing a crop top and had a gorgeous black pony tail and it was very funny to see this fool battle with his Nidorina. All the sudden, the redhead said,

"Use thunderbolt, Gengar!"

All the sudden, the tv was turned off and a woman appeared in front of it and said,

"Seriously, Naruto? You shouldn't be watching crap like this, nigga. If you wanna see some good shit, all you gotta do is ask me and I'll give you a few bucks to buy a Kill Bill VHS tape." The woman sighed and dumped her cigarette ashtray on to this nigga's head. It was Uzumaki Naruto, a 10 year old who had a huge hair of yellow cheese slices. His mom's name was Imogene Theresa Pamela Uzumaki and she seriously hated her name. It sounded like the name you would expect to hear from someone who never even knew how to fart in English. Naruto was mad and gave his mom the middle finger when she didn't see him and she said,

"Oh, by the way, Naruto? Will you go check on your baby sister? I need to take a shit after eating Taco Bell again."

"Yeah, sure, mom!" he said as he got up and went to the room that contained his little 2-year-old sister, Sakura. Sakura's room was one of the most interesting things that you probably never saw, and that was saying a lot because her room looked like something that a blind person who never even smell paint selected. It had hideous orange stars everywhere and it also had a photo of a woman twerking in front of a cactus in El Paso. Sakura was wearing a diaper that was shaped like a thong and she had on some clip-on earrings that their mom got from a gas station outside of Galveston, Texas when she was trying to get some fluid for her siggeret lighter.

"Hey, Sakura, it's good to see you again!" said Naruto as he approached her and played with her earrings. Damn, did this little ho have some sexy ears for someone of her age! She started screaming because Naruto was playing with her earrings again and he took this opportunity to get out of their fast before his mom threw some shade on him for being a retarded nigga.

"NARUTO!" shouted his mom as she coughed as she took out her medicine for her sore throat. The pills were tye-dye and they smelled like old diarrhea that was left in a toilet in Fargo from a woman who had chicken and beer for a snack while she was trying to take refuge in Minneapolis.

"Yes, Mom?!" shouted Naruto as he farted.

"You need to go to bed, because if you don't go to bed, you are gonna be at least 4 hours late to get your Pokemon and you will probably just get something stupid like a Rattata. Get your ass upstairs or I will fart in protest!"

Naruto went upside and went to sleep on his pink waterbed. The 10 year old was so excited to get a Pokemon! He hoped he got something like a Moltres or a Mewtwo. He may even get a Venusaur just for having an interesting haircut! He farted as the rain started falling and he then closed his sexy eyes.

The next morning arrived and his mom slammed the door.

"Naruto! Thank goodness that you're awake because I was gonna call 911 if yo ass didn't wake up!"

"What time is it?" asked Naruto as he looked at her.

"It's 6:34 a.m!" she said as she handed Naruto a fresh bikini to put under his clothes. "You need to hurry up and get breakfast, young nigga!"

Naruto farted and got up. The little ninja wanna be headed to the kitchen and opened the fridge and got a pint of Nguyen and Jimmy's ice cream. It was peanut butter and crushed almond flavor and he began to eat some of it and farted as soon as he swallowed. He put it back into the fridge and saw his mom holding Sakura.

"You have some nice socks on, Mom!" said Naruto as he kissed her on the cheek.

"You need to hug the socks, nigga!" she said as she pointed down to her rainbow socks. Naruto got on his stomach and hugged her socks. This was something they did every once and a while and it was not kinky.

"Okay, I need to get going!" said Naruto as he went over to Professor Oak's lab and barged in.

"Give me a Pokemon, nigga!" he said as he pointed at Professor Oak.


	2. Chapter 2

"Gimme a Pokemon, nigga!" demanded Naruto with more greed in his voice than the time that Tina Fey was demanding the Dollar General in Boise, Idaho to get some more Sprites from Mexico because they used cane sugar in it versus that nasty HFCS (high fructose corn syrup, you niggas). Naruto's swirls on his face were because it was hinted that his mom had sex with a Poliwhirl, but it was a myth someone created.

"Hold the fuck on, bitch-ass nigga!" as he held out his nasty hand that he was probably using recently to tie his shoes that looked so ugly. You probably were accurate when you bet that they came out of a vending machine in Osaka that had been sitting there since 1973. "I can't give you a Pokemon because I don't have any."

"Well, who got them?" asked Naruto as he was getting impatient. He was about to get mad and then just looked at Professor Oak.

"A girl who was wearing a bikini and a tank top came. Her name was Deidara. A boy who was wearing a pair of jammers and a swim jacket came. His name is Makoto. And a girl with blonde hair, khaki shorts, and and a denim jacket came. Her name is Ino. Deidara took Charmander, Makoto got Squirtle, and Ino got Bulbasaur."

"So what do I get? Please tell me that you got a Zapdos or even a Dragonite!" exclaimed Naruto with enthusiasm, even more enthusiasm when Willem Dafoe found out that the Zoo in Omaha was gonna have an exhibit for tarantulas.

"HELL NO!" shouted Professor Oak as he cleared the throat. "I'm sorry, I don't have any Pokemon that rare, but I do have one for you."

Naruto looked down. "I'm sorry I called you a nigga and I'm sorry for losing my cool. I really should be a grateful boy for being allowed to have a Pokemon at all."

"Aww. It's okay, Naruto, I forgive you," said Professor Oak. It caused Naruto to fart loudly at the nice feeling. "Here. This is a Pikachu and I want you to have him. I caught him just recently so I think that you may have a good amount of luck with him."

He took out the Pokeball and out came Pikachu.

"Niggachu!" said the Pokemon. "Pikachu!" it said correctly.

"IT SAID NIGGACHU!" screamed Naruto with laughter as he fell on tot he floor, farting and flailing his legs about wildly like the time Negrodamus from the Chapelle Show found out his prediction that Bob Ross was gonna paint a picture of a woman with a perm twerking in front of the Sears Tower. It was so scandalous that he this nigga couldn't handle this and he didn't want people to freak so they got out of his way just like an ambulance.

"Pull yourself together, Naruto, because in a moment I will need to laugh!" said Professor Oak. "Anyways. Here is your PokeDex, your Pokeballs, and some Potions." Naruto put them in his backpack that his mom got with a coupon after buying cigarettes. The backpack actually smelled like insect repellent that you get from a store in Edmonton, Alberta when your mom is out to buy gasoline for the barbecue and she runs into another part of the store to find it.

"THANK YOU," said Naruto as he hurried out of the laboratory and went back to his house. He saw his mom and said,

"Mom, can I have some of that cucumber salad that you made last night and take it with me on the trip?"

"Sure, go ahead and take it all," she said as she ate a few Doritos and played with Sakura's earrings. Sakura was crying because she wasn't getting any of the Doritos and Imogene gave her a few and Sakura shut up.

Naruto went into the fridge and he took the entire dish and put it in his backpack. He knew that his mom would be glad that he was gone because that meant that her bills would a bit smaller each month. He went up to her and she punched him in the face. That is what she did whenever he was going to school and he usually slapped her across the face in return. They were on very good terms despite the fact that this seemed like flat out abuse.

Naruto left and he closed the door and released a fart that lasted about 8 seconds. It felt so good to get it out of his ass and he walked forward. Pikachu was very adamant about following his trainer, but he did so anyways because he was curious as to how this nigga was gonna train him and it's not like he had any place to go.

Naruto soon reached Route 1 and a voice said, "Naruto Uzumaki, is that you?" Naruto turned around as if he had been found and saw who it was.

"Ino Yamanaka, is that you?!" he said as he looked at his classmate. Man, did she look so promiscuous at such a young age!

"Yeah, playa! I was wondering if it was okay if we traveled together, you know!" said Ino as she began to play some Mariah Carey on her iPod. "Will you take me to a brighter place beyond the rain?"

"I'll make you feel alright because you'll be by my side through it all!" said Naruto as he farted.

"Hell, yeah!" said Ino as they started walking together. They left and Pikachu followed right behind them.


	3. Chapter 3

Naruto and Ino were walking down the sexy route 1 and Naruto turned to her and farted when her saw her adorable blue eyes.

"So, Ino, what have you been doing?" asked Naruto as he looked at this Ninja version of Gwen Stefani.

"Nigga, we saw each other two days ago!" she said as she slapped Naruto across the face. "I mean, you have a crush on me, right?"

"No, why would you think that?" asked Naruto as he turned away from her faster than the time that Charlie Sheen was homeless in 1982 and he turned away from the doors of the Department of Human Services of Montana when he saw that they wouldn't be distributing welfare checks to anyone who had been using crack. Ino had some seriously weird bangs and she smelled like she had diarrhea in 1994 and never told her mom about it because she thought that her mom would no longer be able to buy the food she loved that caused it: turducken.

"I mean, you fart whenever you see me, nigga!" commented Ino as she decided that it was her turn and she farted so loudly that 23 Pidgey's in a tree that was 30 feet away flew away. "Sorry," she said as she saw a Pokemon in their way. It was a Rattata!

"I'll handle this!" said Naruto as he had more confidence in himself than the time that Fergie was the celebrity guest on the Olympics diving team and she had to do three somersaults while wearing a traditional Bulgarian wedding dress. "Pikachu, go!"

Pikachu just stood there and looked at Rattata and sighed. He went towards the rodent Pokemon and used thunderbolt and Rattata ran away.

"Good job, Pikachu!" cheered Naruto, with a tone very similar to the time that Julio Iglesias cheered for Denzel Washington during a pie eating contest in Gatlinburg.

"Hey!" said a voice that belonged to a boy. They turned around and someone was wearing a pair of jammers and a jacket for a school swim club. "Are you niggas going to go after Sasuke, the gym leader of Pewter City?"

"I sure the hell am!" said Naruto with a smile and thumbs up. Man, did this nigga look like someone you would see on a poster you got out of a box of Cheerios. "And I'm going to use Pikachu to defeat the nigga!"

"I've heard a lot of things about Sasuke," said the boy. "My name is Tachibana Makoto and I want to go with you guys. If you are okay with it."

Ino fell in love with this guy faster than Phyllis Diller fell in love with an expired tube of Pringles she saw in a supermarket in Buffalo.

"You're so cute, Tachibana-kun!" she said as she clasped both of her ashy hands together as she looked at this young pimp. When she put her hands together, it sounded like a toilet flushing after someone dumped the contents of a can of Spaghetti-O's in the toilet which was in the washroom in the blue hall of a school that opened in Tennessee in 1997. It was not a kinky sound by any means.

Makoto just blushed and said to her, "Oh, thank you! You're the fourteenth random girl who said that today!" Naruto looked at Makoto's jammers. They hugged his ass more than Jermaine Dupri hugged a koala when he was in Australia in 2004. His jacket looked like something Mick Jagger wore if he joined a swim team and Naruto could recognize a pimp in the making, and Makoto definitely fit the profile.

"We need to go to Viridian Forest!" exclaimed Naruto as he wanted to get out in the middle of the forest and meditate to some Celine Dion songs that you often hear inside the elevator in the Sears Tower. Soon, Makoto said, "I think we should have a Pokemon battle."

"You have a Squirtle, right?" asked Ino as she looked at Makoto. "I have Bulbasaur, and that nigga has Pikachu. You're likely to lose."

Makoto chuckled softly and said, "I think we have equal chances since our Pokemon are low level and don't know their elemental attacks." He took out his Pokeball from his pocket and said, "Go, Squirtle!"

"Squirtle, squirt!" said the turtle Pokemon. The turtle and his trainer both farted at the same time. "Use tackle!"

"You use tackle as well!" said Ino as she threw out Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur and the turtle immediately began to run towards each other as if they had been separated on the Titanic and found each other again on that other ship that took in the lifeboats. Bulbasaur collided with Squirtle and Squirtle used tackle again. Squirtle ost after 23 more tackles because he used withdraw a lot and his defense was pretty high.

Makoto sighed and took out his Pokeball. "Please return, Squirtle." He looked at the ball. "You did good, nigga!" He then turned to Ino and then said, "We need to go to the Pokemon Center soon."

"Okay!" said Naruto as he began to Ninja run. "Follow me!" He ran so fast that he hit a tree that then toppled over from the impact. He cried and then got back up and they soon arrived to the Pokemon Center.

"Welcome!" said Nurse Joy. "What can I do for you young trainers today!"

"I need to heal my Pokemon!" screeched Ino as she put the ball on the counter so slowly that you thought you watched a slug on a glue trap race towards Jefferson City, Missouri.

Makoto saw a poster and said, "Look, they're serving free nachos at the Pewter City Pokemon Center in two days!"

"AWESOME!" shouted Naruto as he high-fived Makoto. "We totally need to go there soon!"

They then ran out of the Pokemon Center and then there was Viridian Forest up ahead.

Ino gulped and let out a 103 decibel fart that lasted for about 5 seconds.

"OWW! MY BUTTHOLE HURTS!" She screamed as she threw Bulbasaur out into the forest. She started crying and said, "Get me some bamboo, quick!"

Makoto said, "Why do you need bamboo?"

"It makes me feel better, nigga!" said Ino as she looked at Naruto who was laughing. Ino got the bamboo and started to eat it like a panda who just smoked a blunt. She sighed with relief and they went into the forest.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto and the gang finally reached the forest and the went inside, and you could've sworn that music from the Titanic was playing but had a funky Japanese twist to it.

"Who's playing the shitty Japanese music?" asked Ino as she looked around, but the two males looked at her and rolled their eyes like the time that you saw a stripper in the parking lot of JcPenny's and was trying to get some money for toothpaste.

"I don't hear anything, nigga!" said Makoto as he scratched his ass and farted. He turned to Naruto and said, "You should consider catching another Pokemon beside Pikachu so you can have a type advantage. I mean, electric moves are not gonna work. Didn't you know that?"

"I thought they would be effective against Sasuke's Pokemon?" chirped Naruto like a parrot who was trying to learn Korean from a guy whose first language was Finnish.

"Oh, Naruto, you're such a kidder!" giggled Ino as she took a moment to look at herself in her mirror in her pocket that she randomly had. She then showed Naruto the mirror and he said,

"I look like I will become the best Pokemon champion in the world!" He then saw a purple Pokemon and took out his PokeDex and pointed it at the Pokemon as if he was a man taking a picture of a woman in a dance club.

"Nidoran female, the poison point Pokemon," said the machine. "This Pokemon is capable of using scratches and bites to defeat her opponents. They are often shy and run away, but they will fight when necessary."

"I remembered!" said Makoto as he turned towards Naruto. "Nidoran female can learn double kick and it would work well against Sasuke's Pokemon."

"Ran!" said the Pokemon as she looked at Naruto. Naruto was a bit worried that this little Pokemon would be too weak, but it was worth a shot anyways.

"Okay, Pikachu, go out there and use thundershock!" he said sweetly. "Please?"

Pikachu sighed and let loose a tiny bolt of electricity that zapped the Pokemon and she squealed when it did that. She ran forward and scratched Pikachu and Naruto used this opportunity to through a ball at Nidoran. The ball shook like a big fat booty for four times and then it pinged.

"Look, nigga, I got a Nidoran female!" screamed Naruto as he wanted to get out his phone and called his mom and tell her what happened, but she knew that it would be weird and he wanted to tell her as soon as he got in Pewter City.

"I bet you feel good after what you did, Naruto!" said Ino as she saw a Pokemon. "What's that?!"

They discovered that it was a Mankey and the two of them fought for a few minutes and Ino caught him. She was as proud as the time when she asked her teacher what the square root of 28 was and she was so excited when she was able to do something magical on her calculator.

"What about you, Makoto?" asked Naruto. "Are you gonna try and catch something?"

"I guess I should," he said and then found a Tangela. He was able to do surprisingly well against it and was able to dodge the moves that it used and the battle went on for about three minutes before he finally caught it. He was as pleased with himself than the time he was able to open a box of Corn Pops all by himself when he was three years old.

Soon, night fell and they had to gather berries and stuff to eat. Naruto was so excited that he was having some trouble sleeping! He got out a tic-tac and decided that would be a better substitute than brushing his teeth and he woke up the next morning and said,

"Okay, guys, we're going after Sasuke and his rock Pokemon!"

"Can we go get some donuts or something first?" said Ino as she was struggling to wake up. She needed something like Chef Boyardee raviolis for breakfast as well as some cucumber salad and a blueberry shake.

"Naruto, come on," said Makoto as he got up. The others were still wondering why he was wearing a swimsuit that was so tight.

"Let's get going! This way!" he sang as he made it out of the bushes and saw Pewter City's skyline. He saw a ton of Volvo's driving and saw that it was the largest Swedish community in Kanto and that was just so kinky! They headed for the Pokemon Center and then to the gym.

"I AM UCHIHA SASUKE!" said the voice as he saw the three of them and he was using a megaphone of all things.

"Hi!" said Ino. "This is Naruto. He wants to battle you, as do and this nigga, Makoto."

"Hi!" said Makoto as he waved at Uchiha Sasuke.

"Okay, so let us begin!" said Sasuke as he let out a Pokemon. "Go, Geodude!"

"Go, Pikachu!" ordered Naruto as he pointed at the Pokemon.

"Wow, are you stupid?" said Uchiha Breanna Sasuke. "Very well. Tackle!"

"Use your quick attack, Pikachu!" ordered Naruto. The two Pokemon collided and Pikachu was able to knock over Geodude, but was still well in the battle.

"Not bad, nigga. Now how about rock throw!" said Sasuke. A small portal opened and some rocks fell through close to Pikachu and he was able to dodge it with ease, but one of them hit his tail and he screamed as if he stepped on a Lego.

Pikachu then dodged it and then used thundershock which oddly defeated Geodude.

"ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!" shouted Sasuke as he called back Geodude. He took out his next Pokemon and said, "See how you like...Onix!"


	5. Chapter 5

Uchiha Sasuke threw the damn Pokeball as if he was trying to be on the water polo team for butterflies and out came Onix, a rock Pokemon that looked like all the stones that Charlie Sheen would get a watery mouth over since they looked so smokeable.

"Dayuuuuuuuuuuuuuum," said Naruto loudly as he farted, causing it to echo across the damn gym. "That's a huge bitch!"

"Get 'em, Naruto!" demanded Sakura with a clinched fist and a butthole that was equally clinched. It was so tight that not even a bacterium could escape.

"Onix, end his Pikachu by using take down," ordered Sasuke with as much vigor in his voice as a college freshman ordering a pizza from Chuck E Cheese's.

Onix lunged at Pikachu, but Pikachu dodged it fairly easily.

"Good job, Pikachu!" cheered Naruto. "Now use thundershock."

Pikachu unleashed the sexiest yellow jolt of electricity and it hit Onix on the head. Onix didn't even blink at it.

"Ha. Looks like your Pikachu is a Weak-achu!" joked Sasuke. Sakura frowned at the remark and said,

"Show this pimp your other attack!"

"Onix, stop Pikachu with bind," commanded Sasuke. Onix wrapped himself around Pikachu and squeezed him. Pikachu screamed and squealed as if he just left the theatre after watching How the Grinch Stole Christmas with Jim Carey. 

"I give up!" demanded Naruto. Onix let go of Pikachu and Naruto ran over to the Pokemon and said, "Let's get the hell out of here. C'mon, Sakura, I need to poop."


End file.
